Friday, January 30, 2009

BAD DAY

Having a HORRIBLE day....hoping things calm down...having panic attacks that only my 4 year old is calming down for me...SICK i know....Hoping to play some Chutes and Ladders today with the kids and sleep with them during naptime.

Got thoughts in my mind that won't stop....my mom, my horrible health, my visions of me at least walking the 5k for the marathon. I would HOPE I could do at least that!

I am failing miserably today and not very happy with some people today either....just a BAD day overall!!!

I got comments last night I took with a grain of salt at Thomas' school dance...many of the teachers mentioned how good I look...people I still want to lose at least 20 pounds and I feel like people think I am crazy....I am so unhealthy right now and people have no idea how horrible I feel about it...I jsut can't get out of this funk!!! It is not a horrible health/body image problem...I really need to lose at least 20 pounds...I am fearing that if I don't i will end up like my mother....6 ft under ground at too young of an age....

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